Another interesting article from our friends in New York at Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup.
I love all these dumbass psychological terms describing geeky loser personalities. (How sensitive am I?) Ya got (among others) your manic depressives, bi-polars (same syndrome – just different terminology) and obsessive-compulsives. I am none of these. I’m not even psychotic. I just pretend to be for effect.
But last week I turned slightly obsessive-compulsive. It seemed like everywhere I went (at least the Korean places) somebody with a vicious cold was either putting her hands on me…sitting on my lap…or simply handing me her infected money. Now I’m very awre of how the cold virus gets transmitted. And one of these best ways to get infected is to touch the ill person’s hands – or money – and then pick your nose or ears…rub your eyes…or eat something with your fingers.
And mindful of all this bull shit, I found myself washing my hands directly after taking money from all these sick girls. Was I taking proper care not to get infected…or simply being obsessive-compulsive about the whole deal? I got the answer two days ago when yet another sick girl came over to my apartment and handed me some money. But this time I forgot to stash the cash and then wash my hands with soap and hot water.
And then I ordered Chinese food and ate an egg roll with my hands. Duh! Twelve hours later…the scratchy throat started. And then I remembered I’d forgotten to do my obsessive-compulsive thing. So in the end, I WASN’T being obsessive compulsive. I was being rational after all. So much for Obsessive-compulsive Bill. Or even Psycho Bill. I think I’ll rename myself Rational Bill. And hopefully, the next time a sick girl hands me money, I’ll remember to be to display those supposedly obsessive-compulsive tendencies that kept me cold-free until yesterday.
Being considered to be a great lover is what many adult males aim for. They don’t like being considered a flash in the pan, even if they are only a one night stand. A rep as a great lover is worth its weight in gold when it comes to pulling the ladies in.
Girls love to swoon with passion and still be able to boast to their girlfriends about the way a man makes her feel. She will tell every one about the way the made love for the first time if it was wonderful, but by the same token she will also tell friends if he was a lousy lay. This is what legendary lovers and dismal flops are made from.
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A great lover generally has many good qua lities, it is not only about the sex you know. Probably the most important is his ability to listen; listen and really hear and respond to what he is hearing. Women moan like hell that men don’t know who to listen, so learn how to do this and you have got it made. Making love with a woman and communication with her makes her feel special.
Men who truly like women have the ability to be great lovers, don’t get me wrong, I said “LIKE”, not lust. Men may make sexy jokes about women but rarely sees them as a friend. Making women your friend will get you loads of attention, as they like to be liked.
Rushing the sex act will also get you into hot water, and you won’t make it into the top ten. Gentle caresses and touching a woman relaxes her. These touches also make her feel comfortable and not like another conquest. Sex will happen, but don’t forget long languorous foreplay, the sensitive caring man gets the ladies.
Pay attention to her body, get to know all about the female body and you will be a sure fire candidate for a great lover. Kissing the back of her neck and holding her hair while kissing her from the back is a big turn on for most women.
Paying attention during sex, listening to what she tells him, listening to the noises she makes, and her body language. If a woman doesn’t like something she will draw back or say no and he will always listen to this.
Unfortunately many men stop talking to their lover the moment they are able to penetrate her, this is a no-no, this is not the stuff that great lovers are made of
Hammering away during intercourse and having his way with her, unless she has specifically asked for this, is not going to get her talking about how great he is to her friends. Make sure that you know she will remember you for years with a smile on her face, and you will be a great lover.
There are some things that men are apparently completely unable to live without. Recent surveys have indicated that there are five that are more popular than others, these are; the Top Five Men’s Gadgets of all Time:
Number one: Boys love TV’s particularly the wide screen, HD variety, but like their penises, the bigger the better. Add to that surround sound and the latest Blue Ray DVD player and you have the Home Theatre Kit.
Justify the expense to your wife by telling her the initial expenditure will soon be off-set by the amount of money you save by not having to go out to the movies any longer.
2. The Home Brewing Kit – Long ago, 25 years back in the UK, my uncle was making wines from pea pods, potato peels, strawberries and even flowers. He was considered strange, now he is considered a master wine-maker and everyone else wants in on the action.
Home brewing kits are at the top of everyone’s Christmas wish list and they sell like hotcakes at this time of year. The boys are going to love your new booze making skills even more than they love your home theatre system..
3. The iPod – this gizmo is not only popular with men, but the best thing about it is you can record as many movies and as much music as you like, buy a docking station and play these through your home theatre set, while having a few drinks from your home brewing kit with your mates. Your house is going to be a neighborhood favorite stop over. 173 million iPods have been sold world-wide.
4. The Powermat – This is the source that powers your home theatre system and the refrigerator you need to keep the home brew cold. You don’t have to install a plug socket or have long wires trailing to the nearest power outlet. Wires that you might trip over if you have sampled too many tots from your home brew kit. It is the ultimate, wireless electricity source.
Number five: Probably the most important of the lot “SizeGenetics” the ultimate penis enlarger. For more than 2 000 years we have proof that men have been obsessed with the size of their penis. Nothing wrong with that But resorting to length like tying a rock to the end of it and sticking rods down it i s pushing the ticket a bit far. This gadget is medically approved to increase length and girth.
It is doubtful that you are going to invite your new best friends to share in the joy of Size Genetics. But there is no harm in inviting the ladies over to see the results, as well as your home theater system, sample your latest crisp dry white wine, listen to some soft, iPod generated music and see how tidy your wires are.
Another update from our friends in New York at Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup.
I awakened at 5 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep for pondering why anybody would want to read this blog in the first place. It’s nothing but a diary of a dismally dysfunctional ad ho! I can see why guys would look at the pictures. THAT I get. But read the words? Who cares?
And finally, after tossing and turning for what must have been 3 minutes…I came up with the answer. It’s all about the backstory. For some reason, everybody loves the old “behind the behind.” There’s nothing so fascinating as discovering the real background and subtext of a situation. Just for example…I’m dying to know what Letterman did with all those babes in what he hoped was the privacy of his own bedroom. A Dave tell-all would sell even more than Paul Shaffer’s book, which has apparently zoomed to the top of The New York Times Best Seller List.
And of course, every good backstory needs a catchy title if it’s gonna get published. Like when I was writing my wannabe cabby book, I had three titles I thought were pretty good: “Life Is a Cab-aret,” “My Meter Runneth Over,” and “The Happy Hacker.” I considered all three reasonably upbeat for a book full of dark and depraved Travis Bickle style stories. So now if this crap were to become a book (I’ve already written 200,000 words on this blog), what would I entitle this dog shit? That’s easy! BEHIND THE BEHIND…as in…the insider info on girls who sell ass!
I know! It’s lame! Almost as lame as this blog! Whatever..let me be a legend in my own mind. Without that delusion, I’m nothing. Hey! It could be worse. I got a couple of girlfriends who fantasize about “pimping me out.” Fucking weird. I find it so strange that not one…but two women are harboring the same twisted psychosexual fantasy. And trust me…I did not cultivate or manipulate the situation. Both these girls did it mutually exclusively, which might indicate the mindset of a lot of escorts. Whatever…I let them lead the dance mostly…although occasionally I take over just to let them know who’s got the plug and who’s got the socket. Ya know…I play the role so they can get all excited…and then lower the boom and let them know who’s boss. It’s all very titillating – except sometimes these girls turn violent and I get my face smacked right in the middle of a hot and amorous moment.
I think I need to find a normal girlfriend and get away from these freaks! Yeah, that’ll happen. I used to go to bars and clubs and hit on babes. And sometimes I’d bust a move and captivate a delicious diva with my seductive personality, only to have her walk off once she’d discovered what I do for a living. After all…what woman wouldn’t want a boyfriend who hangs out with a bunch of garden tools all day for a living? OK! Is my hour up, doc? How much do I owe you?
Bill helps Alexis Club with the advertising in major adult publications on and off line.
Once upon a time – like before I was ever part of the escort business, I figured being an escort was like being an athlete. A girl only had at most two decades to amass wealth before she would have to retire – as in…who’s gonna pay to be with a middle-aged/past-her-prime individual? How naive was I? Experience has shown me that these girls can work until the day they die! Now, I’ve had more than my share of clients who ride the bus half price but one comes to mind that really cold-cocked me and turned my ass around backwards!
A couple of years ago, I went to visit a forty-something girl who will on occasion have a “mature” lady working alongside her. And sure enough, when I arrived, she had a colleague who stood straight and tall but really DID appear to be a little too old for this business. So we ran a line ad describing her as “fifty-something for men who appreciate a very talented mature lady.” Maybe a week later, I saw my friend again without her geriatric sidekick and asked “How old was that granny with all the raunchy stories?” The answer? Get ready! 86!!!
Get the fuck outta here! My friend went on to elaborate “You can’t believe how much energy this woman has. She runs here and there and up and down…and to the store…and on the subway. I get tired just trying to keep up with her.” Well…clearly, retirement did not appeal to that lady. Eighty six years young and in the prime of her life. Just when I thought I’d seen and heard everything!
Moving on..I’m developing a bromance with the Alexis Club guy over the phone. His senoritas look pretty hot. And I already understand how his business works. The vacation itself? Wow! Talk about a kid in a candy store and/or “died and gone to heaven syndrome.” Imagine flying off to a fabulous resort in The Caribbean to hang with a different breathtaking hottie every day (actually, you’re promised three – but for a few extra bucks in drivers’ fees, you can swap out at will ad infinitum). Sounds like a plan, Stan! O shit! I forgot. I’m shackled to a computer! Hey! A guy can dream! Check it out! www.alexisclub.com. Sign me up. Billed out and bound to go – and every day I want a different you-know-what!
So I got a gander at The New Velvet Curtain’s Voice ad yesterday. OMG! Now I know that opinions vary when it comes to art appreciation. But having said that, their ad is the worst piece of crap I’ve ever seen. It’s almost like somebody was playing a cruel joke on the old curtain. “Dinghies out at sea without a compass” really didn’t convey the situation accurately. “Completely and utterly fucking clueless” might be more appropriate, though I’m not sure the words exist to properly describe this outfit’s ineptitude. I really made them a very beautiful ad…and what they have now has got to be the rawest piece of crap any union worker whipped up in 23 and a half seconds.
And speaking of clueless…my new television client asked for a disc of her current 30 second spot so she can change a few things. This girl actually thinks she can change the phone number and/or the voiceover from a copy of the spot without actually going into the studio. Newsflash: Honey! This ain’t no photoshop! I can’t give you the layers on a disc so you can change your ad! You have to go into the studio to do that!
Hey! I think I’ll call the printer and tell them to ship me a disc of the entire ESCORT paper so I can edit a phone number AFTER all the papers have been printed. That would be about the same thing! Things that make you go “Holy crap! Am I in The Twilight Zone?” Come to think of it…I get that feeling at least once a day in this business.
Do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do! Beam me up, Scotty! Or better yet…beam to The Dominican Republic…to AlexisClub.com. Now we’re talkin’!
Courtesy of our friends at DOLLAR BILL’S PSYCHO ROUNDUP in New York.
Posted on: October 5th, 2009 Getting Laid
Most men go through a stage at one time or another of having problems getting laid. There’s no reason to fret about this, but there are maybe some reasons as to why you are not getting laid. However, this is the time when an escort comes handy. Yes, they are definately whore, but atleast they put out without any problems. There are alot of reasons as to why men go to escorts. For instance, a businessman may get an escort as he may not have the time for a one night stand or long term relationship. Its an easy way for doctors, scientists, lawyers and so forth who dont have the time to get some bliss.
The great thing about money is, if you have a lot of it, you can get yourself a mighty fine escort. We all have seen those crack whores without teeth who will give blow jobs for 20 dollars. These women on the other hand, are the cream of the crop. They look like they just walked out of the pages of Playboy. They are the women every man dreams of. Rich guys love having a hot babe hooked to their arm. They can take them out to dinner and show them off. Parade her as if she was a dog at a dog show. He can smile to the world and he thinks that the rest of the world envies him because he has a hot babe with him.
A man loves this kind of date because he knows if the price is right, she will come on down and score. Unless you have a prude for an escort, you know that at the end of the night you are getting laid. A lot of people like this because there is no worries about the sex. You don’t have to take a woman out at a nice restaurant and wonder if you are going to get any. If you got the bills, you know you will get some action.
Escorts are sometimes used by men who are as ugly as a dogs ass. Yet they may not all be ugly, sometimes it can be that their personality is like a box of rocks. whether its their looks or their personality they do seem to have the trouble of getting laid. The three options though they really only have is to either buy hand lotion, get a sex toy or hire an escort.
Some men hire escorts not for sex, but for company. A man who loses his wife due to divorce can be very lonely. Life can suck when all you do is work and go home and watch reruns on television every day. A woman can add that little sparkle to the day. Not every escort is out just for sex. You would be surprised if you asked if they get many clients not looking for sex. Some people are lonely and just want someone to talk to. We have all heard stories about men who call phone sex lines not to talk dirty, but just to talk to someone. Paying an escort for this, is a very expensive way to cure your loneliness. I wouldn’t suggest this unless you have a big bank roll.
I think some men visit escorts for the rush. It is like getting a blow job in a movie theater. You know it is taboo so you want to do it more. The idea of a woman sucking you off just for the cash is a turn on. It can also be about power. You have the money and she needs/wants the money. If she doesn’t suck on your pole, then she will go home broke.
I have heard tons of men say they would never visit an escort. Then they go on to tell me what they sexual fantasies are and how they are never fulfilled. This is also why some men go to escorts. They like telling a woman what to wear, how to suck their boner, to bend over and beg for it. How many men out there wouldn’t want a woman who would beg them to stick their penis in her anus? Well, for the right amount of money, that is possible.
With all things in life, you get what you invest. You know that if you go with an escort, it is only a one night fling. This might not be the best option for you. Rather, you should try to find a mate that you can have a loving relationship. After you visit enough escorts, sex becomes cheap and a hassle. Some of these escorts cost bundles of money, so if this is your only hope, you might end up in the poor house.
Its not really reccomended to pay a visit to an escort as anyone with multiple partners has a higher risk of catching a disease. If you do decide to visit one of the working girls maike sure protection is always used. Falling for the story that she is on the pill or that she is allergic to latex is not a good idea. It would be safer to take your money to another escort.
You can always visit AlexisClub.biz Adult & Escorts Classifieds and hook up with your local Service Provider
Posted on: October 1st, 2009
If you are looking for some porn – whatever kind of it – then the one place that you can be sure to find is on the Internet. If you take time to look at some of the new adult sites, you will see that there is a lot more there than you saw before.
Social Networking Adult Websites
One of the biggest developments is the various social networking sites that work strictly within the adult genre. These sites contain people getting to know each other, seeing who they are more comfortable with and then hooking up from there.
People are able to post their profiles and pictures so that other people can know what they are about and can decide whether they want to meet a particular person or not. Whatever kinds of preferences a person has, they are sure to find them online.
Several kinds of people meet together on these sites. Whether one is looking to hook up with a man or woman, looking for gay sex or straight sex, looking for a dating partner or a long term commitment, all options are available.
The best thing is that Internet safety has been pumped up, with most of these sites even going as far as to screen their members before allowing them to signup. Some of them even do background checks.
Porn Gallery Sites
If you do not want to hook up with a real person but want to only Find Sex that you can watch and entertain yourself, even then you have a lot of options. There are many sites that allow members to post their own homemade videos in various positions and acts. They are sure to prove to be a great source of raunchy excitement to watchers like you!
Some sites have wonderfully categorized galleries both for photos and videos. It is very easy to find a website that exactly matches your tastes.
You can always visit AlexisClub.biz Adult & Escorts Classifieds and hook up with your local Service Provider