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Posted on: November 18th, 2009 Meet Your Ladies

Gabby – She’s is an opened-minded young lady who is a wild extrovert and full of fun.  She’s a rare combination, Gabby is the one in a million girl who is a sincere GFE girlfriend with a dynamic personality around the resort and a naughty play toy in your bedroom.

You will have a memorable vacation with her, she loves walking, the beach, swimming, dancing, the casino, water sports and hot nasty sex.

Enjoy her to the fullest and you will not regret your holiday this year!  She’s 5′5" tall, she’s 26 years old and her stats are 35C/25/37.

Jeiny - is a perfect ten with a hot curvy body to die for. She’s always upbeat and you will love her

eager-to-please personality. She’s a warm and caring girlfriend around the resort, people will think

you are honeymooners. She’s a jogger, in bed she’ll ride you for miles. You deserve a lady this

wonderful, enjoy! She’s 5′2" tall, she’s 24 years old and her stats are 34D/22/36. Jeiny is

pronounced the same as "Ginny”.

 

Bianca is a sexy hot sex bomb who will ignite your holiday. She’s fun and lively, a real extrovert who will curl your toes. She’s also your ideal girlfriend, she’s a hot and naughty young girl who you will never forget. In bed she’s a nasty and naughty hot babe while around the resort she loves walking, swimming and having a great time with you. Treat yourself to this petite, curvaceous and yummy lady and enjoy a vacation to remember! She’s 5′6" tall, she’s 23 years old and her stats are 2C/24/36

 

Bubbles has a beautiful smile, a great personality and she’s a wild one who is up for anything.  Around the resort she’s a natural people person who will spice up everything and keep you enthralled.

She’s a fun girlfriend who is bilingual, fluent English and fluent Pleasure.  She’s a scorching fireball in bed, a total bisexual who loves to give and give and give.  You will wear out before she does.

Her specialty is hot lesbian threesomes!  She’s 5′4" tall, she’s 30 years old and her stats are 34D/24/35.

 

Eve is 5′5" tall, she’s 25 years old and her stats are 34D/25/36. She is a gorgeous model.

She’s a classy professional model with years of work in hot spots like Brazil and Venezuela. She’s a natural “people person” who makes everybody feel comfortable and happy. She’s great fun around the resort, Eve is outgoing, lively and a great conversationalist! She’s charismatic and romantic, you’ll be the envy of every other man alive with her by your side. She exudes sensuality and in bed she’s a thoroughbred champion. She’s 5′5" tall, she’s 25 years old, and her stats are 34D/25/36. Eve is pronounced “Evy”

 

Jessica is 5′5" tall, she’s 24 years old and her stats are 32C/24/33.

She’s a fine balance between an extrovert and an introvert, she’s everybody’s best friend. She loves to read and swim and she enjoys mellow music and cooking. She’s a GFE, on the romantic side and quite the sex kitten. You’ll have to be careful about her sexy bedroom eyes, she’s very mesmerizing.

 

Check out our packages first and select your lady.

We Provide: Male & Female Escorts

Guests / Clients: Male – Female – Couples – Groups

All Packages Absolutely All Inclusive – Taxes & Tipping Included

NOTES: We prefer you select your escort before you arrive.  This escort will be at the airport pick up.  If you do not want to select in advance, call us with your preferences, we will bring two or three ladies that much your description.   Please socialize with them for a short period of time and then select one, you can always switch the next day.  This service is free of charge.

Bellow are the services and facilities we offer.  We have secured preferential rates for all of them, all packages are absolutely all-inclusive, (including your escort(s) and tipping!). 
If you prefer to book your own accommodations, we will be more than happy to provide you with  
"Regular Outcall Escort Service"

Where else can you find between 45 to 50 real escorts plus additional fresh new ladies every month?  With a portfolio like this, you can enjoy a six night trip with six (or more) different girls and get a great selection for every night.  That’s more ladies than some alternate service providers have for their whole resort!  With this kind of selection, as you can imagine, we’re a popular agency.  The girls are grabbed first come first served but don’t worry!  You can reserve your companion(s) from the second your holiday is booked and we guarantee your selections FOR YOU when you arrive!

Now, why not book with another company but make sure you get the lady you see in the galleries after you arrive.

 

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: November 16th, 2009 Drama free with no taboos

  Tiffany our newest with most flair and a real flirt escort. Tiffany is a shy, loving and cuddly lady who is your ultimate GFE for a relaxing and refreshing holiday. She loves long walks on the beach and her smile will make you happy on a bad day! She loves cooking for you and sharing your intimate pleasure. Enjoy this open minded lady who is drama free with no taboos today! She’s 5′6″ tall, she’s 27 years old and her stats are 34D/27/37.
  

 

 

 Sabel had a few week off so she could work few things in her head.  She is back with the promise to be the best possible provider. 

Sabel – She is a true girlfriend and GFE in every sense of the word, you will find her to be very loving, cuddly and romantic.  Her sexy bedroom eyes will make you want to take her into your arms and never let go.  She loves long walks on the beach and relaxing with you around the resort and in the bedroom.  She’s a perfect ten in every respect, a special lady who will brighten up your holiday and send you home recharged.  She’s 5′6″ tall, she’s 23 years old and her stats are 32B/25/35.

 

 

 Yessica is back and we have some new photos of her! 

Yessica is 5′4″ tall, she’s 21 years old and her stats are 34C/24/34. She’s a Gorgeous Model.

She tends to be shy sometimes and wild other times. She has a look that will make you melt, you’ll want to devour her and she’ll let you. She’s warm and sincere, you’ll find her very affectionate and sexy. She’s very well rounded, a perfect girlfriend sometimes and a wild companion at other times.

 

 

 

 

Gabby Most playfull and satisfaction guarantee! 

Gabby – She’s is an opened-minded young lady who is a wild extrovert and full of fun.  She’s a rare combination, Gabby is the one in a million girl who is a sincere GFE girlfriend with a dynamic personality around the resort and a naughty play toy in your bedroom.

You will have a memorable vacation with her, she loves walking, the beach, swimming, dancing, the casino, water sports and hot nasty sex.

Enjoy her to the fullest and you will not regret your holiday this year!  She’s 5′5″ tall, she’s 26 years old and her stats are 35C/25/37.

 

Important Reminder

We are so well run and top flight that we will do your holiday for free if we are not able to provide you with the girls that you select.

That’s as clear cut as it gets, we stand behind our holidays 100%.

We have a lot of ladies, I know that there are a couple of perfect girls for you.  Lets figure out your main selection and your two backups and that’s the exact girl(s) you will get for your holiday.

That specific girl and no other.

If that doesn’t happen, if we don’t provide you with the girls which we promised you, you’re holiday is free and we will bring the next girl who is closest to your tastes with us to the airport instead.  If you would like to keep our selection for the rest of your holiday, great!  If not, we will be happy to exchange her (free of charge) on the following day to any other lady which you select (who is available).  In either case, the resort part of your holiday remains identical.

Naturally, you will meet your selected companion in the airport receiving line and both of you will travel over to the resort together.  You will know that everything is perfect before even leaving the controlled environment of the airport with us.  That’s as safe and aboveboard as it gets!

That’s the Alexis Club commitment to you, we take having fun very serious.  And you will have fun, either with your selected girls or with another girl that you select free of charge after you arrive for your free holiday.
 

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: November 15th, 2009 Keeping You Updated

November 10 2009

Follow Lexxxy In Twitter

November 10-25 2009

Get 5% off Any Vacation Package

Travel any Time Up to March 2010

 

 

COMPLAINTS & MORE COMPLAINTS ABOUT DUPLICATE PHOTOS

Recently, we at Alexis Club have noticed that several escort services advertising on the web have been stealing our escorts’ photos and posting them as their own on sites the likes of "Craiglist" and "Backpage," as well as many other classified url’s. Imitation is the purest form of flattery and we are truly honored to be the most pirated adult service provider in the world! But that doesn’t excuse the thefts.

For the record, all photos posted on Alexisclub.com are in fact OUR girls – and nobody else’s! And all the photos are real.

Our ladies do not provide local services in any of those cities for any other employers! We do not operate in North America or any other part of the world except The Caribbean. You are being bait-and-switched pure and simple! If you like the girls in these stolen photos, the only way to meet them is with Alexis Club. So give us a call and let the adventure begin because with Alexis Club, it will be a dream come true.

With the bait-and-switchers, it will be a nightmare and a must to avoid. It’s unfortunate that there are so many internet pirates and we feel that you the consumer – and our future satisfied customers – really need to be aware of all the hustlers in cyberspace.

And that’s why we’re posting this message! Thank you and when you’re ready for the real deal…give us a call. 11 – 800 -919 – 9794

Save the difference, relax on the beach and really enjoy our beautiful ladies who caught your eye somewhere else in real life.

AlexisClub.com

November 9 2009

Remember our Brochures.     You can view them, download them even print them and send to friends who do not have the use of a computer.

Package #1    Package #2    Escorts    Bachelors Package    Canadian Package

   

 

November 6 2009

Beautiful Yessica is back, her new photos will be posted in a couple of days.

Lexxxy is back from South America and she will start posting on the Twitter again. 
She has some interesting things to say especially with some North American Friends/Escorts.  Join her http://twitter.com/Lexxxy

America is moved to on request lost, some personal problems.

Sabel is out, after months of training and 3 appointments she did not what to do, very disappointing for such a beautiful lady.

Gina will be available January 1st 2010.

We should remind you that Bubbles is fluent in English.

October 29

November 2 2009

New Escort: Gabby – New & Group Photos : Gabby-Jeiny-Bianca-Yiari.

 

Gabby

COMPARE



Alexis Club

For under $600 per day

Your Selected escort 24/7

Beach Resort

Ocean View Junior Suite Accommodations

All Meals – Fine Dining – Snacks and

Beverages for Two Persons

Buffet – Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner –

Grill (Tex-Mex) – Pasta Club (Italian)

National (Dominican) – (Snack bar &

casual dining) – Swim up bar

Pool bars  – Sports bar

24 Hour Unlimited Cocktails

Las Vegas Style Casino

Admission to the Night Club (drinks included)

Live Nightly Entertainment & Theater

Spa

World Class Golf Course (18holes)

Wi-Fi Internet

Three Swimming Pools and Jacuzzis

3 Tennis clay courts (available during

daytime and nighttime)

Basketball courts

Beach volleyball courts

Fitness Center

Non motorized Watersports

Available Excursions

Daily activities program

A 9 hole mini golf course and shuffle board

Airport Transfers – All Tips – Gratuities –

Taxes – Service Charges

Your City

Low Estimates

Escort 24/7                   $1,500 – $2,000

Hotel                             $180.00

Meals & Drinks For

Two Persons                  $400.00

Entertainment               $200.00

Transportation              $100.00

Note

Photos of our ladies are widely circulating in many adult and classified sites.

For the record, our ladies do not work outside the Dominican Republic.

You are just being baited-and-switched.

STEPS YOU SHOULD TAKE

1. Select your package.

2. Select your escort(s) here
3. Call us with your selections 1-800-919-9794. 
4. We give you the OK.

5. Buy your airline tickets from your Travel Agent.

6. Send us your flight information.

7. We reply with invoice and payments details.         
8. Done.

October 25 2009

Bachelors’ Party – Airport Pickup – Office Group Photos

October 18 2009

# New escort Lity.  New photos Annibel  Photos and bio details will be posted in a couple of days.

Lity Annibel

# Another funny and interesting story Obsessive Compulsive

from Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup Blog

October 17 2009

# Active Sales & Discounts

November 14-17 & 19-22 2009  4days & 3nights       
Beach Resort & Casino – Package #1  Regular  $2,490.00  this Sale $2,320.00

ESCORT INCLUDED

OCTOBER – NOVEMBER  BOOKINGS             
3 Days & 2 Nights Packages Only  Beach Resort & Casino – Package #1

3 days & 2 Nights  Regular  $1,770.00   This Sale  $1,630  
ESCORT INCLUDED

# Many prospective clients are asking questions that the answers are already posted on the Home Page.  Here are the questions, please click the link to find the answers.

Are the escorts tested for STD’s?

How do I know you are not a fraud?

Duplicate Escorts & Services

We dare you to compare

Stolen Photos

Our Guarantees (Escorts & Payments)

Alexis Club – What is all about?

Resorts & Reviews

Business Practices

Most Frequently Asked Questions

# November 5 to 8 2009 discounted cancellation package #1 was sold.

October 13 2009

# Interesting comments from a client who just returned.  This is Live Chat conversation.

: Lexxy pulled visitor

: Hey, its Sal. Just got home and wanted to thank you for a great vacation. Your not kidding when you say you won’t want to leave.

Lexxy: hi Sal, this Lexxxy one of the girls in the office, I am glad, certainly Alexis will get your review from me.

: Ok cool. I appreciate it. I really cant stop thinking about Bianca…It’s driving me nuts…gunna take a few days to get use to not having her around

Lexxy: Sal, Alexis always told us, taht is the way he always felt so the clients should be the same.

: Well Bianca is an amazing girl….If I could do it again I would…

Lexxy: Any time, I am sure Alexis will talk and tell her the news, he always does that, bad or good.

: Cool thanks again

October 12 2009

# Cancellation: November 5-8 2009  4days & 3nights  with Bianca or Honey Beach Resort & Casino. Regular  $2,490  this Sale $2,190.

# We extended the 3 days & 2 nights sales for October and we added some sale dates in November.  The sale dates are only for Package #1 Beach Resort & Casino.  We do not believe the resorts will give us any discounts in December.

#  Some new interesting questions posted in FAQ’s read the answers

"clothing worn at restaurants and bars"

#  Another update from our friends in New York  at Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup.

Click the link to read  BEHIND THE BEHIND

October 10 2009

New Photos August & SeptemberGina – Eve – Jessica – Alexi – Ana – Blonddy – Lisa – Penelope -Bubbles -  A. Sahira – Sierra

 

October 9 2009

# Canela   is in 3rd year of college.  She is available Friday after 6pm to Sunday 2pm.  Please keep in mind this information if you plan to book your vacation and have her as your companion.

# Blonddy will be off for one and half month.

# AlexisClub.biz  our Adult & Escorts Classified Sites now accepting ads that you can upgrade to Featured Ads for free.  First come first serve.

# Check out some interesting articles we just posted.

Duplicate Escorts & Services (Other Sites)

THE WORLD’S OLDEST ESCORT!

 

October 7 2009

# Hurry!! no much time left.  Package#1 Beach Resort & Casino great sales for October and November, plus last minute deals & discounts.

#  New Escorts: AshleyBubbles

Back: Yessica immediately -  A.Sahira November 1st 2009.

                   Bubbles

#  From your top two escorts’ selection, one  will be available at the airport pick up and the second one will be available in case you wish to switch.

#  We have two guarantees.  First, you will be met at the airport with one of your top two selected escorts and the escort will be registered at the resort with you.

Second, you will check in at the resort you have selected.  After you feel we have satisfied the above requests, you will need to pay the balance of your invoice.

Note:  Balance must be paid on arrival with cash US$ or Euros. Traveler’s Checks and Credit Cards must be coordinated in advance due to the difficulty of payment by those methods. These instruments may require as long as two hours to cash and this must be performed in a bank so you must include an additional 13% for bank fees and your flight must arrive before 1:30PM at the resort on Monday through Friday.

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: November 4th, 2009 Adult & Escorts Classifieds

Welcome to ALEXISCLUB.BIZ, the newest, easiest and best way for providers and consumers of all things adult to meet and hook up! If you’re interested in buying or selling products or services – or just want to get informed – ALEXISCLUB.BIZ this is the place to be!

If you’re an escort who wants to reach out and find the perfect client, you can easily and efficiently place a high visibility advertisement free-of-charge to promote your services. And unlike other sites of this genre, you will not be deleted, flagged or any other familiar procedure nefariously designed to sabotage your efforts. With us, you won’t hear any of those bizarre excuses for why your ad has been “bent, folded or mutilated.” Your ad is your ad and nobody can mess with it. Period.
And while others water down their sites with multiple sections concerning purchases and sales of apartments, cars, bicycles and whatever, ALEXISCLUB.BIZ is all about the adult market. We are designed to cater exclusively to the needs and desires of adults with adult interests. So register, log in…and let the journey begin! And may all have a total satisfying experience with ALEXISCLUB.BIZ. That’s what we’re all about!
 
Escorts:
Post a high visibility free advertisement to promote yourself which  will not be messed with like in other locations.
Visitors/Clients:
View adult classifieds for your area and hook up today! This site specializes in Escorts, Adult Products, Adult Services and Entertainment classifieds only.
Free Featured Ads:
E-mail us your ad number and we will upgrade it to a “Featured Ad” for FREE !!

AlexisClub.biz

 
Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: October 18th, 2009 Obsessive Compulsive

Another interesting article from our friends in New York at Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup.

I love all these dumbass psychological terms describing geeky loser personalities. (How sensitive am I?) Ya got (among others) your manic depressives, bi-polars (same syndrome – just different terminology) and obsessive-compulsives. I am none of these. I’m not even psychotic. I just pretend to be for effect.

But last week I turned slightly obsessive-compulsive. It seemed like everywhere I went (at least the Korean places) somebody with a vicious cold was either putting her hands on me…sitting on my lap…or simply handing me her infected money. Now I’m very awre of how the cold virus gets transmitted. And one of these best ways to get infected is to touch the ill person’s hands – or money – and then pick your nose or ears…rub your eyes…or eat something with your fingers.

And mindful of all this bull shit, I found myself washing my hands directly after taking money from all these sick girls. Was I taking proper care not to get infected…or simply being obsessive-compulsive about the whole deal? I got the answer two days ago when yet another sick girl came over to my apartment and handed me some money. But this time I forgot to stash the cash and then wash my hands with soap and hot water.

And then I ordered Chinese food and ate an egg roll with my hands. Duh! Twelve hours later…the scratchy throat started. And then I remembered I’d forgotten to do my obsessive-compulsive thing. So in the end, I WASN’T being obsessive compulsive. I was being rational after all. So much for Obsessive-compulsive Bill. Or even Psycho Bill. I think I’ll rename myself Rational Bill. And hopefully, the next time a sick girl hands me money, I’ll remember to be to display those supposedly obsessive-compulsive tendencies that kept me cold-free until yesterday.

ALEXISCLUB.COM – Live the dream! All inclusive DR erotic vacation!

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: October 15th, 2009 What Makes a Really A Great Lover

Being considered to be a great lover is what many adult males aim for. They don’t like being considered a flash in the pan, even if they are only a one night stand. A rep as a great lover is worth its weight in gold when it comes to pulling the ladies in.

Girls love to swoon with passion and still be able to boast to their girlfriends about the way a man makes her feel. She will tell every one about the way the made love for the first time if it was wonderful, but by the same token she will also tell friends if he was a lousy lay. This is what legendary lovers and dismal flops are made from.

Nearly all women love massive cocks as well as the great info contained here get the low down on a large dicks with Penis Enlargement Reviews.

A great lover generally has many good qua lities, it is not only about the sex you know. Probably the most important is his ability to listen; listen and really hear and respond to what he is hearing. Women moan like hell that men don’t know who to listen, so learn how to do this and you have got it made. Making love with a woman and communication with her makes her feel special.

Men who truly like women have the ability to be great lovers, don’t get me wrong, I said “LIKE”, not lust. Men may make sexy jokes about women but rarely sees them as a friend. Making women your friend will get you loads of attention, as they like to be liked.

Rushing the sex act will also get you into hot water, and you won’t make it into the top ten. Gentle caresses and touching a woman relaxes her. These touches also make her feel comfortable and not like another conquest. Sex will happen, but don’t forget long languorous foreplay, the sensitive caring man gets the ladies.

Pay attention to her body, get to know all about the female body and you will be a sure fire candidate for a great lover. Kissing the back of her neck and holding her hair while kissing her from the back is a big turn on for most women.

Paying attention during sex, listening to what she tells him, listening to the noises she makes, and her body language. If a woman doesn’t like something she will draw back or say no and he will always listen to this.

Unfortunately many men stop talking to their lover the moment they are able to penetrate her, this is a no-no, this is not the stuff that great lovers are made of

Hammering away during intercourse and having his way with her, unless she has specifically asked for this, is not going to get her talking about how great he is to her friends. Make sure that you know she will remember you for years with a smile on her face, and you will be a great lover.

AlexisClub.com  always here to help You!

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: October 13th, 2009 The Top Five of All Time – Men’s Gadgets

There are some things that men are apparently completely unable to live without. Recent surveys have indicated that there are five that are more popular than others, these are; the Top Five Men’s Gadgets of all Time:

Number one: Boys love TV’s particularly the wide screen, HD variety, but like their penises, the bigger the better. Add to that surround sound and the latest Blue Ray DVD player and you have the Home Theatre Kit.

Justify the expense to your wife by telling her the initial expenditure will soon be off-set by the amount of money you save by not having to go out to the movies any longer.

2. The Home Brewing Kit – Long ago, 25 years back in the UK, my uncle was making wines from pea pods, potato peels, strawberries and even flowers. He was considered strange, now he is considered a master wine-maker and everyone else wants in on the action.

Home brewing kits are at the top of everyone’s Christmas wish list and they sell like hotcakes at this time of year. The boys are going to love your new booze making skills even more than they love your home theatre system..

3. The iPod – this gizmo is not only popular with men, but the best thing about it is you can record as many movies and as much music as you like, buy a docking station and play these through your home theatre set, while having a few drinks from your home brewing kit with your mates. Your house is going to be a neighborhood favorite stop over. 173 million iPods have been sold world-wide.

4. The Powermat – This is the source that powers your home theatre system and the refrigerator you need to keep the home brew cold. You don’t have to install a plug socket or have long wires trailing to the nearest power outlet. Wires that you might trip over if you have sampled too many tots from your home brew kit. It is the ultimate, wireless electricity source.

Number five: Probably the most important of the lot “SizeGenetics” the ultimate penis enlarger. For more than 2 000 years we have proof that men have been obsessed with the size of their penis. Nothing wrong with that But resorting to length like tying a rock to the end of it and sticking rods down it i s pushing the ticket a bit far. This gadget is medically approved to increase length and girth.

It is doubtful that you are going to invite your new best friends to share in the joy of Size Genetics. But there is no harm in inviting the ladies over to see the results, as well as your home theater system, sample your latest crisp dry white wine, listen to some soft, iPod generated music and see how tidy your wires are.

 

The AlexisClub girls will love it.

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: October 12th, 2009 BEHIND THE BEHIND

Another update from our friends in New York  at Dollar Bill’s Psycho Roundup.

I awakened at 5 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep for pondering why anybody would want to read this blog in the first place. It’s nothing but a diary of a dismally dysfunctional ad ho! I can see why guys would look at the pictures. THAT I get. But read the words? Who cares?

And finally, after tossing and turning for what must have been 3 minutes…I came up with the answer. It’s all about the backstory. For some reason, everybody loves the old “behind the behind.” There’s nothing so fascinating as discovering the real background and subtext of a situation. Just for example…I’m dying to know what Letterman did with all those babes in what he hoped was the privacy of his own bedroom. A Dave tell-all would sell even more than Paul Shaffer’s book, which has apparently zoomed to the top of The New York Times Best Seller List.

And of course, every good backstory needs a catchy title if it’s gonna get published. Like when I was writing my wannabe cabby book, I had three titles I thought were pretty good: “Life Is a Cab-aret,” “My Meter Runneth Over,” and “The Happy Hacker.” I considered all three reasonably upbeat for a book full of dark and depraved Travis Bickle style stories. So now if this crap were to become a book (I’ve already written 200,000 words on this blog), what would I entitle this dog shit? That’s easy! BEHIND THE BEHIND…as in…the insider info on girls who sell ass!

I know! It’s lame! Almost as lame as this blog! Whatever..let me be a legend in my own mind. Without that delusion, I’m nothing. Hey! It could be worse. I got a couple of girlfriends who fantasize about “pimping me out.” Fucking weird. I find it so strange that not one…but two women are harboring the same twisted psychosexual fantasy. And trust me…I did not cultivate or manipulate the situation. Both these girls did it mutually exclusively, which might indicate the mindset of a lot of escorts. Whatever…I let them lead the dance mostly…although occasionally I take over just to let them know who’s got the plug and who’s got the socket. Ya know…I play the role so they can get all excited…and then lower the boom and let them know who’s boss. It’s all very titillating – except sometimes these girls turn violent and I get my face smacked right in the middle of a hot and amorous moment.

I think I need to find a normal girlfriend and get away from these freaks! Yeah, that’ll happen. I used to go to bars and clubs and hit on babes. And sometimes I’d bust a move and captivate a delicious diva with my seductive personality, only to have her walk off once she’d discovered what I do for a living. After all…what woman wouldn’t want a boyfriend who hangs out with a bunch of garden tools all day for a living? OK! Is my hour up, doc? How much do I owe you?

Bill helps  Alexis Club with the advertising in major adult publications on and off line.

Filed under: 2009 | 1 Comment »

Posted on: October 9th, 2009 THE WORLD’S OLDEST ESCORT!

Once upon a time – like before I was ever part of the escort business, I figured being an escort was like being an athlete. A girl only had at most two decades to amass wealth before she would have to retire – as in…who’s gonna pay to be with a middle-aged/past-her-prime individual? How naive was I? Experience has shown me that these girls can work until the day they die! Now, I’ve had more than my share of clients who ride the bus half price but one comes to mind that really cold-cocked me and turned my ass around backwards!

A couple of years ago, I went to visit a forty-something girl who will on occasion have a “mature” lady working alongside her. And sure enough, when I arrived, she had a colleague who stood straight and tall but really DID appear to be a little too old for this business. So we ran a line ad describing her as “fifty-something for men who appreciate a very talented mature lady.” Maybe a week later, I saw my friend again without her geriatric sidekick and asked “How old was that granny with all the raunchy stories?” The answer? Get ready! 86!!!

Get the fuck outta here! My friend went on to elaborate “You can’t believe how much energy this woman has. She runs here and there and up and down…and to the store…and on the subway. I get tired just trying to keep up with her.” Well…clearly, retirement did not appeal to that lady. Eighty six years young and in the prime of her life. Just when I thought I’d seen and heard everything!

Moving on..I’m developing a bromance with the Alexis Club guy over the phone. His senoritas look pretty hot. And I already understand how his business works. The vacation itself? Wow! Talk about a kid in a candy store and/or “died and gone to heaven syndrome.” Imagine flying off to a fabulous resort in The Caribbean to hang with a different breathtaking hottie every day (actually, you’re promised three – but for a few extra bucks in drivers’ fees, you can swap out at will ad infinitum). Sounds like a plan, Stan! O shit! I forgot. I’m shackled to a computer! Hey! A guy can dream! Check it out! www.alexisclub.com. Sign me up. Billed out and bound to go – and every day I want a different you-know-what!

So I got a gander at The New Velvet Curtain’s Voice ad yesterday. OMG! Now I know that opinions vary when it comes to art appreciation. But having said that, their ad is the worst piece of crap I’ve ever seen. It’s almost like somebody was playing a cruel joke on the old curtain. “Dinghies out at sea without a compass” really didn’t convey the situation accurately. “Completely and utterly fucking clueless” might be more appropriate, though I’m not sure the words exist to properly describe this outfit’s ineptitude. I really made them a very beautiful ad…and what they have now has got to be the rawest piece of crap any union worker whipped up in 23 and a half seconds.

And speaking of clueless…my new television client asked for a disc of her current 30 second spot so she can change a few things. This girl actually thinks she can change the phone number and/or the voiceover from a copy of the spot without actually going into the studio. Newsflash: Honey! This ain’t no photoshop! I can’t give you the layers on a disc so you can change your ad! You have to go into the studio to do that!

Hey! I think I’ll call the printer and tell them to ship me a disc of the entire ESCORT paper so I can edit a phone number AFTER all the papers have been printed. That would be about the same thing! Things that make you go “Holy crap! Am I in The Twilight Zone?” Come to think of it…I get that feeling at least once a day in this business.

Do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do! Beam me up, Scotty! Or better yet…beam to The Dominican Republic…to AlexisClub.com. Now we’re talkin’!

Courtesy of our friends at  DOLLAR  BILL’S PSYCHO ROUNDUP   in New York.

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »

Posted on: October 5th, 2009 Getting Laid

Most men go through a stage at one time or another of having problems getting laid. There’s no reason to fret about this, but there are maybe some reasons as to why you are not getting laid. However, this is the time when an escort comes handy. Yes, they are definately whore, but atleast they put out without any problems. There are alot of reasons as to why men go to escorts. For instance, a businessman may get an escort as he may not have the time for a one night stand or long term relationship. Its an easy way for doctors, scientists, lawyers and so forth who dont have the time to get some bliss.

The great thing about money is, if you have a lot of it, you can get yourself a mighty fine escort. We all have seen those crack whores without teeth who will give blow jobs for 20 dollars. These women on the other hand, are the cream of the crop. They look like they just walked out of the pages of Playboy. They are the women every man dreams of. Rich guys love having a hot babe hooked to their arm. They can take them out to dinner and show them off. Parade her as if she was a dog at a dog show. He can smile to the world and he thinks that the rest of the world envies him because he has a hot babe with him.

A man loves this kind of date because he knows if the price is right, she will come on down and score. Unless you have a prude for an escort, you know that at the end of the night you are getting laid. A lot of people like this because there is no worries about the sex. You don’t have to take a woman out at a nice restaurant and wonder if you are going to get any. If you got the bills, you know you will get some action.

Escorts are sometimes used by men who are as ugly as a dogs ass. Yet they may not all be ugly, sometimes it can be that their personality is like a box of rocks. whether its their looks or their personality they do seem to have the trouble of getting laid. The three options though they really only have is to either buy hand lotion, get a sex toy or hire an escort.

Some men hire escorts not for sex, but for company. A man who loses his wife due to divorce can be very lonely. Life can suck when all you do is work and go home and watch reruns on television every day. A woman can add that little sparkle to the day. Not every escort is out just for sex. You would be surprised if you asked if they get many clients not looking for sex. Some people are lonely and just want someone to talk to. We have all heard stories about men who call phone sex lines not to talk dirty, but just to talk to someone. Paying an escort for this, is a very expensive way to cure your loneliness. I wouldn’t suggest this unless you have a big bank roll.

I think some men visit escorts for the rush. It is like getting a blow job in a movie theater. You know it is taboo so you want to do it more. The idea of a woman sucking you off just for the cash is a turn on. It can also be about power. You have the money and she needs/wants the money. If she doesn’t suck on your pole, then she will go home broke.

I have heard tons of men say they would never visit an escort. Then they go on to tell me what they sexual fantasies are and how they are never fulfilled. This is also why some men go to escorts. They like telling a woman what to wear, how to suck their boner, to bend over and beg for it. How many men out there wouldn’t want a woman who would beg them to stick their penis in her anus? Well, for the right amount of money, that is possible.

With all things in life, you get what you invest. You know that if you go with an escort, it is only a one night fling. This might not be the best option for you. Rather, you should try to find a mate that you can have a loving relationship. After you visit enough escorts, sex becomes cheap and a hassle. Some of these escorts cost bundles of money, so if this is your only hope, you might end up in the poor house.

Its not really reccomended to pay a visit to an escort as anyone with multiple partners has a higher risk of catching a disease. If you do decide to visit one of the working girls maike sure protection is always used. Falling for the story that she is on the pill or that she is allergic to latex is not a good idea. It would be safer to take your money to another escort.

You can always visit AlexisClub.biz Adult & Escorts Classifieds and hook up with your local Service Provider

Filed under: 2009 | No Comments »